SEXUAL ORIENTATION and GENDER IDENTITY (Definitions, Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Coming out, Related Books and Resources, Homo-lesbo-bi-trans-phobias)
What is Sexual Orientation?
Perhaps the best illustration of sexual orientation is the strong, overwhelming feeling of attraction one feels towards another person (of the opposite sex or the same sex). It generally happens for the first time at puberty. Teenagers feel shy, inadequate and anxious in front of the person they are attracted to. Their hands sweat, their hearts beat faster, they have butterflies in the stomach. They think of him/her obsessibly. It is an instinctive feeling that cannot be controlled.
For a more formal explanation of sexual orientation, read Answers to Your Questions For a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation &
Homosexuality, http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html
What is gender identity/Gender expresion?
Our gender identity is how we see ourselves. Some of us see ourselves as women, some as men, some as a combination of both, some as neither. Some of us have complex identities that may even be fluid and change over time. For instance, some of us see ourselves as female to male trans people who also identify as butch women and genderqueer and some days as drag queens. Everyone has a gender identity. And, everyone expresses their gender identity. We all make choices about how to cut or not cut the hair on our head, the hair on our legs, what clothes to wear, whether or not and what type of make-up to wear, what body parts to accentuate or not, etc, etc. We all make hundreds of conscious decisions every day about how we are going to express our gender. We all have a gender. Silvia Rivera Law Project, http://www.srlp.org/node/123
Homosexuality and Bisexuality
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) About LGBT People. Want to get answers to many of your questions? Here’s where to start. http://www.pflag.org/Frequently_Asked_Questions.comingout_faq.0.html
Bisexuality 101,
http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/BisexualityResourcePacket.pdf
FAQ- Bisexuality and Bisexuals,
https://www.msu.edu/~alliance/faq/faqbisexuality.html
The American Institute of Bisexuality encourages, supports and assists research and education about bisexuality, through programs likely to make a material difference and enhance public knowledge, awareness and understanding about bisexuality. http://www.bisexual.org/home.html
Coming Out
A Journey to Moriah: When her gay, teen-age son was outed in their community by the pastor of her church, Rhea Murray believed life was about to cave in on her. Instead, the event turned out to be the harbinger of a brave new beginning. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Coming Out Project: The Coming Out Project helps GLBT, as well as straight-supportive people live openly and talk about their support for equality at home, at work and in their communities each and every day. Human Rights Campaign - HRC, http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming_out.asp
Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents: Listed by American Bookseller as "among the most important gay and lesbian books that should be represented in any general bookstore," Borhek's original edition of this book (1983) has also been praised as "sound, sympathetic, and helpful" (St. Luke's Journal of Theology). In this thorough revision, Borhek brings an additional decade of personal knowledge and experience to bear on the subject of coming out. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Family Outing: A smart, sensible, and supportive guide for parents who learn that their child is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, based on letters written by British parents of gay, lesbian, and bisexual children. Distributed in the US by Dufour. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming Out http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
My Child is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News: My Child is Gay is fift parents sharing how they coped and in some cases did not cope with news that their son or daughter is gay. Parents discuss how they felt when they first found out, what they found helpful, who they could talk to, and how they feel today. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Now That I'm Out What Do I Do?: Writing with the "newly elect" in mind, Brian McNaught advises his readers on how to forge connections within the sometimes thorny gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities while still maintaining ties with family and old friends. Along the way, he discusses sexual ethics, same-sex marriage, work, spirituality, and political action. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Outing Yourself: How to Come Out As Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers: No matter how much you prepare, coming out as gay or lesbian is a difficult, emotional process -- a process that will continue long after the words are spoken and the secret is out. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
There's Something I've Been Meaning to Tell You: How do people come out of the closet to their families and their own children? These true stories of lesbian and gay parents opening up with their children are both heartbreaking and heartwarming, but above all, they are honest. The stories explore such questions as How does one begin? Why do some children react well while others never accept the truth? Why do these parents feel they must risk changing their child's world by telling them? For anyone sensitive to the dilemma of explaining a socially difficult subject to a child, this is an excellent book.
http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
The Family of Heart: A Memoir When Our Son Came Out: Most books about parents dealing with their child's announcement of his or her homosexuality are cast as "self-help" or educational. In the absence of informed, nonjudgmental material, these books are important, but more personal stories are also important. In Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out, novelist Robb Forman Dew tells the story of what happen to her--and her family--after her son Stephen came out. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Related Books & Resources
Recommended reading specifically for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens:
Am I Blue? Coming Out From the Silence. Ed. Marion Dane. 1994.
Annie On My Mind. Nancy Garden. Harper Colins, 1992.
Becoming Visible: A Reader in Gay and Lesbian History for High School and College Students. Kevin Jennings, editor. Alyson Publications, 1994.
Being Different: Lambda Youths Speak Out. Larry D. Brimmmer. Grolier, 1995.
Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out. Ed. Loraine Hutchins & Lani Kaahumahu. 1991.
Children of Horizons: How Gay and Lesbian Teens are Leading a New Way Out. Gilbert Herdt and Andrew Boxer. Beacon Press, 1993.
Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their Families and Friends. Chris Glaser. 1991.
Free Your Mind: the Book for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth and Their Allies. Ellen Bass & Kate Kaufman. 1996.
Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian: A Literary Anthology. Bennett L. Singer, editor. The New Press, 1993.
Joining the Tribe: Growing Up Gay & Lesbian in the '90s. Linnea Due. Anchor Books, 1995.
The Journey Out: A Book for & About Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Teens. Rachel Pollack and Cheryl Schwartz. Puffin Books, 1995.
Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality. Betty Fairchild & Nancy Hayward. 1989.
One Teenager in Ten: Writings by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Ed. Ann Heron. 1982.
Taking a Chance on God: Liberating Theology for Gays, Lesbians and Their Lovers, Families and Friends. John McNeill. 1988.
Two Teenages in Twenty: More Writings by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Ed. Ann Heron. 1994.
Understanding Sexual Identity: A Book for Gay and Lesbian Teens. Janice Rench. Lerner, 1990.
What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D. Alamo Square Press, May 2000.
When Someone You Know Is Gay. Susan and Daniel Cohen. Dell, 1989.
Young, Gay & Proud! Don Romesburg. 1995.
Gay Sports
Gay Sports, GaySports.com was launched in March 2002, designed to become the preferred destination online for gay & lesbian sports enthusiasts worldwide. Combining our team's experience in developing new, exciting and interactive Internet sites with our knowledge of the gay & lesbian marketplace allows us to provide you the best gay & lesbian sports site on the Internet. http://www.gaysports.com/
Jocks: True Stories of America's Gay Male Athletes: Find out what happens when the final closet door--that of men in sports--finally swings open. Is there life for gay athletes after coming out to their teammates? Journalist Dan Woog, himself an openly gay soccer coach, interviewed dozens of gay jocks and offers over 25 inspiring stories of men who are truly today's champions. http://www.ourtruecolors.org/
Outsports.com. Outsports.com was founded by Jim Buzinski and Cyd Zeigler, Jr. They live in Los Angeles and met playing flag football. They've been shooting hoops, catching passes, cheering on the Chiefs, Pats, Nittany Lions, and Cardinal for years - before they knew they were gay, and ever since. http://www.outsports.com/
Homo-lesbo-bi-trans-phobias
Value Scale: Adapted from a scale developed by Dr. Dorothy Riddle.
Heterosexual Questionnaire, by Martin Rochlin, Ph.D.
http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/quest.html
Homophobia:
Homophobia: Homophobia is the hatred or fear of homosexuals - that is, lesbians and gay men - sometimes leading to acts of violence and expressions of hostility. Homophobia is not confined to any one segment of society, and can be found in people from all walks of life. Organized hate groups have viciously attacked homosexuals and have used especially violent language in attempting to persecute and intimidate them. http://www.adl.org/hate-patrol/homophobia.asp
Homophobia Questionnaire: Weigh your attitudes and beliefs about homosexuales on the “Homophobia Scale” and see how you rank. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/etc/quiz.html
Homophobia, prejudice & attitudes to gay men and lesbians. http://www.avert.org/hsexu3.htm
Homophobia: The Fear Behind the Hatred: An essay on the origin and nature of homophobia, by Scott Bidstrup.
http://www.bidstrup.com/phobia.htm
Sexual Prejudice: Understanding Homophobia and Heterosexism. http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/HTML/sexual_prejudice.html
Lesphobia
ilga: Since they are women, lesbians suffer a double discrimination by society: the first is society’s hostility towards homosexuals because of their sexual orientation; the second is due to sexism, the fact that they are women. This is why the term “lesbophobia”, more and more frequently used, is important. It emphasizes the specific difficulties that they encounter. Gathering information on the subject is a difficult task. The SOS homophobia help line shows us that lesbians testify much less than gay men. Only one call in five comes from a woman. Due to this fact, the Lesbophobia Committee of the association decided to undertake a survey of lesbians in France and gathered almost 1800 responses from November 2003 to January 2004. The preliminary results are already available and are significant: 57% of the lesbians who responded related having been victims of lesbophobia. For almost half of these responders, 45%, the discrimination occurred in their daily lives - on the street, in public transportation, in public places - as well as in their families (44%). One woman in four encountered lesbophobia on the part of her friends. The same proportion mention having experienced it at work. Equally worrying is the fact that 10% of the responders reported lesbophobia in the medical field, and 4% during gynecological consultations. This situation has been confirmed by similar studies in Belgium, Canada and Moldavia that indicate a medical corps badly adapted - even hostile - towards LGBT people.
http://www.ilga.org/news_results.asp?ileCategory=1&ZoneID=4&FileID=997
QUeers United, "Lesbophobia" can be described as negative sentiments harbored towards an individual lesbian or a group of queer identified womyn. It is an irrational fear or hatred of womyn who are physically and/or emotionally drawn to other womyn. The term is used to describe a fear of same-sex attraction among womyn, as well as the fear by some men of these womyn for not loving men. "Lesbophobia" can range from the stereotype that all female athletes are lesbian, to the notion that all are angry and hate men, to a subordination of "L" issues within the the broader LGBT rights movement.
"Lesbophobia" unlike its similar counterpart homophobia has a focus on issues affecting lesbian identified womyn not only on the basis of societies stigma based on sexual orientation but also on the sexism that pervades our culture.
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/06/word-of-gay-lesbophobia.html
Transphobia
14 Ways Homophobia and Transphobia Affect Everyone http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/lessonplans/activistally2.htm
Trans Accessibility Project: Transphobia And Discrimination
http://www.queensu.ca/humanrights/tap/3discrimination.htm
